It cold out. It grey. My mom is in the emergency room at the hospital. A friend of my mine asked the guy I like out, right in front of me (knowing that I liked him).
I cried. I cried some more. I feel alone (which I know deep down is a lie).
However, in these sad times I have talked to many wonderful people. People who have given amazing advice and opinions.
I’m heart broken and feel betrayal. I am scared for the future…what will lay in store for me? Where will I go? When will I graduate? Will I fall in love. All these things that should not bother me….do. It’s human nature I guess. I am fighting with the voice inside of me that is putting me down.
I want to scream, cry and shout but do not want to be judge for it.
This post is very depressing….very self-centred. I realize that. However, I need to write it because if I don’t I am bottling up my emotions.
Even if there is some small part of me that taunts me with “you have no friends”….I know that is false. I know amazing people and I am so grateful they allow me to be their friend.
I have a crush on a guy…..! However, I am pretty sure he does not feel the same way back. I like how he smiles and how he talks so confident and passionately about things he likes. Whenever I am around him I cannot speak without my voice shaking. I tell myself every time I see him that I can do this, just talk to him, get to know him….what the worst he could do : reject me? Easier thought than done.
Today he wasn’t in class and I was sadden by that. However, I turned around and there he was.