It cold out. It grey. My mom is in the emergency room at the hospital. A friend of my mine asked the guy I like out, right in front of me (knowing that I liked him).
I cried. I cried some more. I feel alone (which I know deep down is a lie).
However, in these sad times I have talked to many wonderful people. People who have given amazing advice and opinions.
I’m heart broken and feel betrayal. I am scared for the future…what will lay in store for me? Where will I go? When will I graduate? Will I fall in love. All these things that should not bother me….do. It’s human nature I guess. I am fighting with the voice inside of me that is putting me down.
I want to scream, cry and shout but do not want to be judge for it.
This post is very depressing….very self-centred. I realize that. However, I need to write it because if I don’t I am bottling up my emotions.
Even if there is some small part of me that taunts me with “you have no friends”….I know that is false. I know amazing people and I am so grateful they allow me to be their friend.
I have a crush on a guy…..! However, I am pretty sure he does not feel the same way back. I like how he smiles and how he talks so confident and passionately about things he likes. Whenever I am around him I cannot speak without my voice shaking. I tell myself every time I see him that I can do this, just talk to him, get to know him….what the worst he could do : reject me? Easier thought than done.
Today he wasn’t in class and I was sadden by that. However, I turned around and there he was.
i feel depress. I feel lonely. The worst of it all is that I feel like there is no one I can talk to..
I was such a happy person living in Tokyo. I love the people I go to meet and got to know. However, now I feel like my new self is hidden and honestly, I don’t really care for my old self.
|Brother Zachariah:||I want to see Tessa more than anything in the world|
|People who've only read tmi:||aw how sweet, I wonder who this Tessa is|
|tid fans:||OMFG JEM MY BABY JESSA JESUS CHRIST JESSA I'VE WAITED HUNDREDS OF YEARS FOR THIS JEM JEM LET ME HUG YOU BROTHER ZACHARIAH HURRY UP AND BECOME JEM AGAIN SO YOU TWO CAN GET MARRIED AND HAVE LITTLE SHADOWHUNTER/WARLOCK CHILDREN|
|My reaction exactly !!!|